Wanna know something funny? I’m the most insecure person I know. No, really. I’m actually the kind of insecure person you can only roll your eyes at once you really know me. And yet, when people first meet me, they’re surprised at how confident I seem to be. And I think it’s a different kind of confidence I harbour, even though there are so many insecurities left within me that I need to work on. As someone who is confident, but really not, I always have a few things to say when people ask me how I am so “confident”. Even though I really think the term doesn’t completely apply to me.

How To Be Confident

Never get mad at life for happening.

We all know that life can be a bit of a bitch sometimes. Hell, things will always go wrong. But things can also go quite right sometimes. People will come into your life and leave again like it was some kind of sightseeing tour. Your skin won’t be always clear. All of that is not your fault and not really in your control, even though you really wish it would be. The only thing you can really do is to accept, accept, accept. Bite in the sour apple and let go. And keep moving. Sometimes you might even get mad at yourself for getting mad about shit and that makes it all a tad worse. The best recovery from that is recognising that you, by the end of the day, will be okay. Maybe even better than okay. It’s always going to go up and down and up again. Nothing really stops but storms will pass.

Find yourself. Your. Self.

That bullshit that people always preach? Yeah, well, it’s hard to love yourself if you have no clue who you are or who you want to be. Finding yourself is probably the hardest thing to do and you probably will never truly know who you are. What I’ve learnt, though, is that time spent alone is very beneficial for learning about yourself. Either that or getting our of your comfort zone. See where your limits are. See how far you take things. See where your values and ideas and goals meet. I used a journal to answer questions I had about myself, constantly: Who am I right now? Who do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? How can I accomplish that? Does that really matter to me? Maybe you’re at a place right now where you are nothing but disappointed in yourself. That is okay. Pick yourself up and improve. There’s always room to improve and become a better person.

If you can’t love yourself, accept and respect yourself. Be kind to yourself at least.

Don’t beat yourself up. Yes, you make mistakes. But there’s no need to dwell on them. Give a sign that you know what you’ve done, own up to it, move on. You’re improving every day. Yes, you feel like you weren’t enough for this person you really like. Well, screw them. You’re more than enough for someone else. You managed to live without them before, you can do it again. Take the fuel to improve yourself for yourself. Every day. Be kind to yourself along the way. And there’s no one above or below you so keep high with your standards.

Embrace who you are.

Many of you won’t listen to me when I’ll go off about how magical and unique you are. Instead, I’ll tell you that your stretch marks and your little faults you’re insecure about are okay. Everyone ets pimples. Show off your curves. Cherish the healthy body you’re in and what you do to keep it healthy. There are SO many people out there around you who don’t know how to just rock with what they have and turn their insecurities into something positive. My stretchmarks and scars tell my story. I don’t like wearing so much make-up even though I totally could. Just because. I have a wide back from going swimming so often when I was little. Doesn’t make my body look very feminine, probably, but I was so happy swimming back then! Can still wear that cute dress I got! Once you stop picking on yourself and start seeing which qualities make you so unique (your personality and values and passions!), you’ll never truly be able to embrace who you are.

Which mind-shift makes you feel more confident?