can't believe i am here + a question

beware my question to you at the end x


in the midst of unpacking the remaining things i decided to bring with me into my new home, i write to you. i am still alive and still creating. it’s just been a bit hard without a desk but also that one shall stand by the end of the day.

my hands are full of rashes from the wood we’ve touched and the pieces of it that got stuck on my fingers as we built the pieces of my dream flat. my dream flat is probably far from what you’re imagining. it’s not all that spacious actually. i wouldn’t dare to look for one like this but bigger – the price would’ve suffocated me. i’ve lived stressing about money for a long time and this time i can breathe. thank god, i can breathe as i live.

another realisation that hit me recently: it feels rather lonely spending the first few nights here. i’ve always sort of felt this lonely way whenever i moved into a new place, no matter how small or big the place. is this just what happens when you suddenly sleep at a new place?

with a lot of help from my sweetheart, my friends and my family and also a lot of ambition, most furniture of my new flat is now built and pretty and shiny and ready to use. it’s been four days and i can’t believe i am here.

might not seem like a big deal to you but it was about damn time. i can finally say i like it at home! i can finally have someone over without apologising for my lack of space. finally, i’m not stacking books on my heater. i can move freely and eat at a dinner table instead of my tiny desk or on my bed. my neighbours seem lovely and i love my huge new bed, it feels like a cloud to sleep on it. don’t get me started on my dear washing machine. i don’t have to carry all that to my mother’s place or a laundromat store anymore.

you can tell i’m stoked. i hope i feel this way for a long time, and about everything.

maybe i can already give you some spoilers on what’s going to happen once i get back to my passion project. not only will i get back to writing on my novel, but also i will be creating some more…

i guess the question to you is what would you think of prints of illustrations and poems? illustrated notebooks, cards?

just a thought, though something tells me i could just go ahead with this idea of mine. but let me know!