Monthly

May

may.

month of ups and downs, just like the weather. thoughts riding a rollercoaster. no halt, just slowing down. then speeding up. then collapsing, turning, laughing, crying, wincing, pining.

 
outlining stories

outlining stories

leaving G’s house at sundown

leaving G’s house at sundown

 
evening walks with the sister. talk about life and sadness. even though we’re 7 years apart, we’re like soulmates. understand each other without words.

evening walks with the sister. talk about life and sadness. even though we’re 7 years apart, we’re like soulmates. understand each other without words.

 
 

and there’s been a lot of planning. i want to move as soon as possible. quit my lease. this tiny place still feels like my home, but i am ready for another. new memories in that one, too.

working forty hours a week, few days off, mind went blank. stress. but laughter in the breaks.

 
 
 
 

then at the café, and in my bed at home, sometimes on the carpet, i read and write and decide on covers for my books. dreaming of getting published as i type away a manuscript i will be unsure of a few months in the future. i edit what i shouldn’t and avoid what i should alter.

 
 

read: jane: a murder / it’s kind of a funny story

i guess i don’t know how to give myself attention. so i’m sort of falling. i don’t know what into. but somewhere, and i’ll be the only one there to catch me. the question is, do i let myself or try to prevent myself from falling? which would be more damaging?
— a journal entry.
 
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